Today, was the last day of finals. I'm quite happy. The Spring Semester of my first year at college is behind me. I never though I'd get this far! Truly! You've no idea.
I'm the person who has no follow through. For example, I tried my hand at writing something in the scale the JRR Tolkein wrote. I started that 1998. I'm about 6 chapters into it (Although, it did lead to the creation of a new fantasy species that I'm particularly proud of). Another thing I have not been able to follow through with is self-education. I have tried to teach myself various languages: Polish, Russian, Japanese, French, German, Irish, Gaelic (the Scottish strain), Italian and even Esperanto. I only need to brush up on Spanish occasionally. I took three years of it in High School but am no means fluent. Regardless, I don't stick through to the end on projects very well. I didn't expect my motivation for college to last much past Halloween to be honest and am astounded it has.
In addition to completing SOMETHING, I also managed to earn all A's. I'm truly excited about that. I never did that well in High School and so this is definitely an improvement. I also must take into account that I'm not the traditional student. Its not because I am dyslexic or was hyperactive as a child. I'm actually quite intelligent. (My ego is having a nice party right now so I'll indulge it) My problem was that we moved several times growing up. Well, apparently this is bad for a child's education. So even though I had the brains, I never learned the right stuff or my learning would be interrupted and changed... again.
I'm not the traditional student because I'm 26. I still live with my parents (this has to change soon) and I'm working two jobs. I volunteer as well for the Minneapolis Public Schools tutoring ELL (English Language Learners). I enjoy it since I get to talk to Hmong students and see them progress. Its nice.
I felt bad about my age when I first started back in the Fall. I felt old. I'd waited the long boring 7 years, post graduation, till the happy age: 25. This is the age when you no longer need your parents tax information to file for aid. This is a very good thing. So I get lots of money (which I will have to sorrowfully repay one day) and I feel much better about what I'm doing with my life. I'm still not the oldest but I'm not the youngest either. I figured most students would be 18 or so. These people were somewhere in the 4th to 6th grades when I graduated from High School. I did not know about the PSEO students.
PSEOs are Post Secondary Education Option Students. PSEO works just dandy. These kids are still in high school but are using college courses in lieu of required ones to finish their high school education. They still get college credit as well. Sheesh! If I'd known I could've done that I would've! But I couldn't have: My slacker GPA wouldn't have cut it. So some of my classmates were in the 2nd grade when I graduated. At least they were born! I have a few classmates that could be my parents or even grandparents!!!
My first experience with PSEOs left me feeling they were inable to think for themselves and stupid. That was in my Freshman Composition class where I was the oldest followed five years behind by a Russian immigrant and an Air National Guard returnee from Iraq. Well, the Guard memeber was actually 20. Therefore, I felt old. But at least I felt smart.
The spring semester challenged this perception. I realized from my limited exposure to PSEOs, I'd formulated a stereotype that was rigid and unforgiving. The PSEOs in my PoliSci course impressed me all semester and I enjoyed the company of two nice PSEOs named Ryan and Billy. We were together for Communications.
Apparently, I don't seem as old to others. Sam, another 18yo freshman made my day on Finals. We took the final as a near-class size group: 22 of us. While we were finishing, an older (than I), married woman, came back in from the ajoining speech room where she'd been testing and left her test. She gave that stupid, insipid, wan smile that says "I know more than you do". Sometimes I think she's thinking "Oh, those kids. They act so much worse than my autistic baby and the one with night frights" or whatever they are. The woman tries to exude the air that she knows everything. These type of people get under my skin and itch! Does it really make them feel better to treat others' egos like garbage? Or does she feel that lousy about herself that she needs to? I used to be like this so this may be why the trait is so apparent to me. I came up with a mantra to help me think differently: Just because I'm smart, does not mean everyone else is stupid. Besides, Socrates would depise her hautiness with contempt and scorn. For me, Socrates is one of many figures from history whom I still listen and pay heed to. Obviously, she doesn't. Then again, if I mentioned Socrates, she'd probably know so much about him including that he always announced "He knew nothing". Wisest is he/she who knows nothing.
So while Sam and I were outside with Michael and Matt (PSEO), Sam said he saw the woman's test ever so breifly and noticed several red marks meaning she hadn't done that well. He even called her the older lady. When I said she was only in her early 30's, he said that was old. I didn't say anything but he then told me that I wasn't old because I didn't act it. I still joked around with the teeneagers, thought like one, talked like one and didn't look down at them. If he hadn't known my age, he would've thought i was the same age. THANK YOU!
Oh this is too much!!! I'm listening to the local NPR Classical station and there are playing “Mack the Knife” sung in German with Organ accompaniment. Who said NPR wasn't exciting? Listen to that woman roll those r's!!! It sounds like she's purring. Little did I know it originally is German. Huh! The Original German Lyrics, if you please!
Die Moritat von Mackie Messer
Und der Haifisch, der hat Zähne
Und die trägt er im Gesicht
Und MacHeath, der hat ein Messer
Doch das Messer sieht man nicht
An 'nem schönen blauen Sonntag
Liegt ein toter Mann am Strand
Und ein Mensch geht um die Ecke,
Den man Mackie Messer nennt
Und Schmul Meier bleibt verschwunden
Und so mancher reiche Mann
Und sein Geld hat Mackie Messer
Dem man nichts beweisen kann
Jenny Towler ward gefunden
Mit 'nem Messer in der Brust
Und am Kai geht Mackie Messer,
Der von allem nichts gewußt
Und die minderjährige Witwe
Deren Namen jeder weiß
Wachte auf und war geschändet
Mackie welches war dein Preis?
Refrain
Und die einen sind im Dunkeln
Und die anderen sind im Licht
Doch man sieht nur die im Lichte
Die im Dunklen sieht man nicht
Doch man sieht nur die im Lichte
Die im Dunklen sieht man nicht
Ok, I'm going to sit and read for awhile. I think this was a lengthy enough post.